How to ruin National Woman’s Day

happy-womens-day-images

I’m proof this theory works

South Africa celebrates Woman’s day on 09 August every year. One might wonder why women requires such a special, annual day?  And if one is stupid enough to ask that question in the presence of said women, one might get a reply such as: “Because men gets a special day, everyday.”

I would argue this statement, if I didn’t ruin Woman’s day. In my defense, it wasn’t done on purpose. I usually don’t indulge in self-sabotage when it comes to the opposite sex.  I consider myself in tune to the needs of those who run the world.  At least most of the time. Continue reading

Why I like Winter.

And that’s an unfathomable lie.  I hate winter more than I hate Kanye West.

FREEZING

this is me, only colder.

Down here temperatures are dropping like Kim Kardashian’s clothes on Instagram.  Trees are losing leaves faster than Taylor Swift loses boyfriends. Continue reading

Just another day at the office

Some of you may believe me, but I want to supply further proof that I live at the Southern tip of the Motherland. This was one of the first things I saw yesterday before coming to the office.  The bull was very protective of his herd and didn’t want us too close. DSC_9501

And for those who are wondering how this is possible, I had to accompany an international customer on a Safari through the African bush.  I have a tough life, I know.

A survival guide for woman during the Rugby World Cup

Our hope is in you!

Springbok warriors…our hope is in you!

The world is entering confusing times. And it’s not only because of spring arriving in the Southern Hemisphere when some animals will start humping like rabbits in time with the first blossom on a peach tree.  It’s also because the world is about to embark on a quest.  A quest that happens once every four years.  A quest that requires fifteen fit and capable (depending on who you ask) warriors or lords from twenty different countries to go into battle for total supremacy.  Supremacy of power and perseverance.  Of speed and skill.  Of attack and defense.  Of scrums and line-ups and drop goals.

Once the final battle is won, the victors will stand proud in Twickenham, looking down at all the slain contestants who will worship them as gods.  And the leader of twenty-two will wipe the mud and spit from his face as he drinks from the ultimate reward, the Web Ellis Trophy as winners of the Rugby World Cup 2015… Continue reading

Doin’ it Doggy Style. For Mandela.

Every year on Nelson Mandela’s birthday, which is on the 18th of July, there is a call on South Africans to give 67 minutes of their precious time and get involved in their community.  Even if he’s no longer with us.  It’s an ongoing initiative, attempting to get people off their butts and contribute something.  Make them do something useful.  Other than complain, which we do extremely well.  And anything goes.  Picking up garbage, cleaning the rivers, distributing food, supplying blankets, entertaining orphans, mowing my lawn, taking out my trash, paint my house, fix that damn roof leak that only bothers me when it rains…anything.

(You can read more about the initiative here)

This year our company opted to offer our service to the local animal shelter.  There were two main considerations in our choice: (1) Pets can’t take care of themselves, as humans took over their feeding duties centuries ago and (2) No one can shout discrimination when you talk about neglected and abandoned animals.  In South Africa you have to be very careful if you want to supply corporate assistance to a specific group because by doing that it implies you are excluding another group.  Besides complaining, South Africans also like to shout discrimination at anything.  Racism, Ageism, Sexism, Nepotism, and any other -ism you can think of.  It’s one of our many pet complaints.

So we stuck to pets. Continue reading

How to experience a geekgasm.

Yes, this team is frigging awesome.

Yes, this team is frigging awesome.

Avengers: Age of Ultron is frigging awesome! I have to admit, initially I used a different adjective in the opening sentence but as a parent I need to set some sort of example for the not-so-little-ones.  Every writer knows that in some cases the English language seems inadequate in providing a better word than the good old f-bomb.  Evidently the Wife is better than the English language as she provided a softer alternative… Continue reading