Why I like Winter.

And that’s an unfathomable lie.  I hate winter more than I hate Kanye West.

FREEZING

this is me, only colder.

Down here temperatures are dropping like Kim Kardashian’s clothes on Instagram.  Trees are losing leaves faster than Taylor Swift loses boyfriends. Continue reading

I might be the most miserable person alive

Yesterday was a day I like to forget.  I prefer to imagine my life without it happening at all.  It was a day of recovery from a very bad night, and before you jump to conclusions, it wasn’t “that” kind of night.  If only it was.  I was dehydrated with the worst hangover in living memory, without any of the fun and games (and inevitable regrets) that normally goes along with it.  I suffered from a spell of food poisoning, that, me thinks, was a result of mushroom sauce. No, it wasn’t “that” kind of mushroom sauce; I’m still trying to find a restaurant that will serve me “that” kind. The kind that makes you fly.

I spend most of the evening hugging a white, flushing, very cold, porcelain bowl, retching my lungs out.  Continue reading