Coming to America

As 80% of my followers originate from that big, pink country on the top left side of my world map, I’ve decided to go there.

See, it is pink...Told you.

See, it is pink…Told you.

Wouldn’t that statement be wonderful, if it was true?

It’s only a half-truth.  Like me saying I’m ecstatic about the sentencing of Oscar Pistorius today.  The only thing I’m excited about, is the fact that it is over and I can get my Twitterfeed back.  #OscarTrial didn’t do me any favours, thank you very much.

Truth is, I AM coming to America, getting on a jet plane this week.  *Insert numerous jumping high-fives with self* If not to meet all the nice folk who’s following my blog in the US of A, but for the purpose of earning a salary.  I’ll be visiting New York and a few other less important places, like Houston and Washington D.C.

There is a number of things I would like to do, whilst spending some time in the land of the free, which ironically, is exactly the opposite of the place where Oscar will be spending some time. Continue reading

Mickey is Dead!

Jip, he's gone. Photo courtesy of the family as posted on

Jip, he’s gone.
Photo courtesy of the family as posted on

The stiff, cold body of Mickey Mouse was found swirling in a weir of a local swimming pool, early Saturday morning.  An expression of hopelessness was etched on the frozen features of his little mouse face. Silently telling a sad story of giving up.  This shocking discovery was made by Tweety, a close family friend who’s been actively pursuing all kinds of leads to try and find out what happened to the famous mouse, after his disappearance two weeks ago.

It seemed Mickey paid the ultimate price for choosing a life of crime. Continue reading

Mickey, the food thief.

“Love, what are we going to do?  The fire destroyed all the food we had.”

Minnie was battling to hold down the tears sparkling in her eyes.  A fragile, concerned mother trying her best to console her youngest, Mickey Jr, who’s been up all night with colic, implying constant crying, which is something you don’t wish on your worst enemy.

“Minnie, I’ve told you I’ll make a plan.  I have found a house, there is plenty of food, standing in a bowl on the floor.  It’s easy pickings.  I think it belongs to their version of Pluto.  I’m going back there again tonight.”

I steal food.

I steal food.

“Are you sure it’s safe?  I won’t make it if something happens to you.  Besides I’m definitely not going to raise all three of your kids on my own.”

“It’s safe, stop worrying.  The inhabitants of the house are oblivious to my nightly scavenging.  Just trust me.”  He was trying his best to hide the anxiety in his voice. Continue reading