Princess doesn’t exist

We need an unabridged birth certificate for my daughter so that she can participate in the provincial trials for Netball, a sport that incorporates a net and a ball and some throwing.

Therefore we need to go the department of home affairs.

Aaaaand let me put that into perspective.

I’ve known people who went there and never returned.  At least not as the same people.  Others required intensive counselling.  Some people have developed a severe twitch, as it is the place where hope goes to die. A market place for incompetence, despair and frustration. Continue reading

I got my passport (and live tweeted through the torture!)

You’ve all read my emotional scarring episode when I wanted to collect my passport last week.  (Just a note, I know you didn’t all read it, I checked my stats.  Remember, Big Brother is watching.  All the time.) I have since faced my demons again and returned to the hall of terror twice.  I finally got my passport on the third try.  But it didn’t come cheap.  I’m still receiving hypnotherapy and electric shock treatment to try and forget the torture I had to endure.

Unfortunately I live tweeted my whole experience.  Now I will be able to relive those disturbing moments forever.  Or at least until the Internet is full or crashes, whichever comes first.  I decided to share my tweets with those of you who haven’t decided to follow me on Twitter.  Am I not the nicest guy?

Arrived and been in a queue for fifteen minutes. Nothing is happening… The twitch in my left eye is back.         4:00 PM – 14 Sep 2015

Good news! Four people helped in 20 minutes. Bad news… there is still eighteen people in front of me.      4:05 PM – 14 Sep 2015

Sitting in this queue makes me realize how serial killers are made.      4:11 PM – 14 Sep 2015

As a final note, I would like to thank Twitter for their platform, my mobile network reception and my smartphone’s battery for not dying on me.  The combination of these three little things kept me from going totally bonkers yesterday.  It could have been a massacre but alas, there is no blood spatter on my passport.

My new passport.

How I failed the eighth task of Asterix

(Yes, I had to check the spelling of eighth…)

If only I had me some magic potion brewed by Getafix...

If only I had me some magic potion brewed by Getafix…

Did you know?  The only animated Asterix movie to ever have an original screenplay was called The Twelve tasks of Asterix.  You should feel better about yourself for knowing this.  Simply because Asterix is awesome.  And the fact that I love Asterix should come as no surprise as I love comic books and Obelix was the first superhero to inhabit earth. Chronologically speaking off course.

I wanted to give a short version of the plot of the film, instead I decided on a short-short version. I wouldn’t want to spoil the ending for anyone.

Roman legionaries gets beaten up. Claim the Gauls are gods. Julius Caeser assigns twelve tasks ala Hercules, assuming he will put the rumor to bed. Unfortunately for Caeser, Vitalstatistix assigns Asterix and Obelix to finish the task(s) at hand.

The eight task on the list of twelve would be to find Permit A38 in “The Place That Sends You Mad”.

And I’ve been there. Continue reading