One of these days we may have birdpie for dinner.

The third website I found, after googling “most dangerous countries in the world” as part of my research for this post, listed South Africa as number 17 on their list of 20.  It has to be said that the list was compiled by someone in the UK and we all know they’re just a bunch of scaredy cats.  The first two sites were a little more kind and listed as somewhere in the forties.  Based on this reality of living dangerously, I also own a semi-sophisticated security system that allow us to sleep at night.

Or more importantly, a system that allows us to wake up in the event of an intruder on our property.

In order to make this happen, I’ve installed a house alarm as well as four beams on the garden perimeter, that not only sets of an alarm (turning your heart into a glazier) but also automatically notifies an armed response company when it is breached.  If the company is any good, they will phone home just like ET and check if everything is in order, before they arrive with sirens and bullet proof vests and guns blazing.   Continue reading

Laugh with me #42

Most of us love our pets. And I’m talking about dogs because cats are condescending.  Dogs fill our lives with joy, love and laughter…most of the time.  Other times they do crazy things and destroy all our precious material belongings.  And our hair.

But can you blame this poor dog for attacking something, he assumed was a squirrel, on his owner’s head?  He was only trying to save her from a lethal attack.

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I’m hoping we See Spot Run before she got up…

Just another day at the office

Some of you may believe me, but I want to supply further proof that I live at the Southern tip of the Motherland. This was one of the first things I saw yesterday before coming to the office.  The bull was very protective of his herd and didn’t want us too close. DSC_9501

And for those who are wondering how this is possible, I had to accompany an international customer on a Safari through the African bush.  I have a tough life, I know.

A final goodbye to our Gay French Poodle

Dogs have a magical ability,  a canine superpower if you like.   They can make a human fall in love with them at first sight. They use various tactics to achieve this.  Sorrowful eyes,  droopy ears,  cuteness or sometimes just being different.

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You never knew you were a dog

Pippa was different from the rest of his litter.  With a brown, shiny nose and a hint of beige on an otherwise white body. But it was his calmness in the midst of chaos that struck this family.  He didn’t jump or bark for attention as his siblings did. He just sat quietly in the corner watching us.  And with that innocent stare, he captured every single one of our hearts.  We took him home.

That was ten years ago. Continue reading

Laugh with me #30

We’ve all heard the expression “to grab the bull by the horns” but what happened here, I have no words for.  It brings a whole new meaning to the concept of being manhandled. Or maybe it’s the animal version of saying ‘go for it’; just grab the handler by the head.

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I cannot stop laughing.  It’s. Just. So. Funny.  It also provides us with a very valuable lesson: Never f*ck with a camel.

Doin’ it Doggy Style. For Mandela.

Every year on Nelson Mandela’s birthday, which is on the 18th of July, there is a call on South Africans to give 67 minutes of their precious time and get involved in their community.  Even if he’s no longer with us.  It’s an ongoing initiative, attempting to get people off their butts and contribute something.  Make them do something useful.  Other than complain, which we do extremely well.  And anything goes.  Picking up garbage, cleaning the rivers, distributing food, supplying blankets, entertaining orphans, mowing my lawn, taking out my trash, paint my house, fix that damn roof leak that only bothers me when it rains…anything.

(You can read more about the initiative here)

This year our company opted to offer our service to the local animal shelter.  There were two main considerations in our choice: (1) Pets can’t take care of themselves, as humans took over their feeding duties centuries ago and (2) No one can shout discrimination when you talk about neglected and abandoned animals.  In South Africa you have to be very careful if you want to supply corporate assistance to a specific group because by doing that it implies you are excluding another group.  Besides complaining, South Africans also like to shout discrimination at anything.  Racism, Ageism, Sexism, Nepotism, and any other -ism you can think of.  It’s one of our many pet complaints.

So we stuck to pets. Continue reading