When you have spend as many hours on a plane like I do, you find creative ways to entertain yourself with random things. Get your head out of the mud! It’s not that kind of airline! Besides do airlines like that even exist? (If they do, please mail me their contact details. Just in case…)
The flight from Bilboa to Munich is three hours with Luthansa and they serve snacks and drinks. In English, without having to pay extra for it. (Take note Iberia air.) Soon after serving round 1 (turned out to be the only round) of drinks something funny happened. At least it was funny for me…
The passenger in front of me was snoring away, missing France. Technically I missed it too, as I prefer an isle seat. I’m tall and fly with the rest of the cattle in the back of the plane. Across the isle another passenger finished his tomato juice and was trying to fit the empty glass, salt packet, napkin and plastic spoon into the empty snack wrapper. We all do it, organise our garbage, so to speak. (Why? It’s not like any air hostess have ever congratulated me on my ability to make my rubbish as small as possible.) In the process of him stuffing things, the spoon catapulted spectacularly across the isle and landed smack bang in the middle of the face of his sleeping neighbor. Waking him with a violent jerk. Catapult operator apologized profusely to a guy who was still not sure what smacked him on the bridge of his nose. I battled to compose myself…
Only to have the guy next to me getting way too excited about his beer and ends up spilling the whole damn thing on the little tray and himself. He did what most men would do, simply folding the tray back into position, creating a lovely, little beer waterfall, making his pants even wetter. I think he might have whistled nonchalantly.
I almost spewed my own glass of
water wine all over the seat pocket in front of me. At least I could muster the decency to turn my face before I cracked up laughing.
I’m sure the beer spilling dude is not a fan of yours truly. For the duration of the flight he kept glaring at me over his horned rim glasses, whilst trying to solve soduko or something. I’m sorry sir, but that’s what happens when you don’t have a television screen on a plane. I make my own fun.
Maybe I should have offered him my napkin?
PS – For extra bonus points, they have fly stickers in the urinal at arrival. How cool is that? It certainly helps with the aim.