It has been said that there are humans walking around with special abilities. Some people who are genetically tweaked to perform better than the rest. Super powers. (And it doesn’t include the STARE because all women posses the STARE. It’s the look husbands get on the reply of “I’m only gonna have one, my love.” Or when you reply innocently: “What?” *insert shoulder pull ups*)
I know this to be true for I have met such a man. A man who has the uncanny ability to absorb any attempt at conversation and destroy it instantaneously. The science behind this power is not known but I suspect he creates a vacuum in the fourth dimension where he sucks all the words from your mouth. Imagine a dark abyss where words go to die. A black hole of communication.
This man is the dark side, the demon, the evil twin of every single Disney Princess. Except Sleeping Beauty, as she’s just a lazy cow who slept through most of her movie. Only this man is not a girl. He is an asshole. And a teacher.
Have you ever had the misfortune of trying to have a conversation with someone and have that attempt thrown back in your face? Where common courtesy and being polite are not even a consideration on how to treat people? His mother must be proud. If his mother is Ursula the Sea Witch.
He answers any and all questions with single syllables, if you’re lucky. He prefers grunts which makes it easy to understand him because he has the facial expression of a gargoyle.
I have accepted the reality that I’m not every person’s cup of tea. I might even except that some people find my overbearing. Cocky. Excessive. I know I’m not a comedian because I’ve been told that much. By my Dad.
BUT and this is a big BUT, a Nicki Minaj kind of big butt…
Is it too much to ask for an attempt at a smile every now and then? To fake interest when a parent is talking to you? To at least try and come to work with some kind of personality? Maybe you should stop walking around like you own the place and consider the people who are paying your fucking salary.
Everyone has an off day where other people simply annoy the shit out of you, just for being there. Trust me, I know. But you are simply rude. You are inconsiderate. And you certainly do not have an excuse of showing up like you do, every time we meet.
Get over yourself and respect the people around you. Maybe then we would start respecting you as well, Mister Bag-of-Dicks.