A similar post made for highly entertaining and laugh inducing reading over at Mollytopia.  Another coffee snort episode.  So I though what the hell, I don’t have anything better to do at work today…

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Closed.  I’m semi-obsessive about it and monsters can’t open doors.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

Yes, they are the best birthday presents as long as you keep them as a set.

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

Tucked in.  I’m not a homeless person. Nor am I a savage.

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

Yes. But I STOP-ped after graduation.

Do you like to use post-it notes?

No.  They remind me of things I have to do.  I don’t like doing stuff.

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?

How about a swarm of girls, dressed as bears?

Do you always smile for pictures?

They don’t allow you to smile when taking mugshots.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Negativity. Slow drivers. Warm red wine. Adam Sandler.  Kanye West and boys checking out Princess.

Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes. I’m a guy.  It’s what we do.

What about pooped in the woods?

Yes.  Not my best moment.

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?

Yes.  I like crazy.

Do you chew your pens and pencils?

No.  I can afford a McDonald’s burger.  I reckon it probably tastes the same.

What is your song of the week?

This week it’s Hello. From a little known Brit called Adele.  I know, I’m such a conformist sucker.

What’s your least favorite movie?

Adam Sandler.

Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

In my son’s cupboard.  Nothing can be found there.  As a matter of fact I think we’ve lost one of his friends…

What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

I’d rather eat a pencil.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Too many to mention.

Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

Yes.  And I have the badges to prove it.

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

No.  I’m too sexy.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

Before they invented e-mail.

Can you change the oil on a car?

Why would I need to?

Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

Yes, a few. I have even cried and flashed a boob to get out of one.  And it worked.

Ever ran out of gas?

No.  I’m a guy.

What is your usual bedtime?

This would depend on so many different things…

Are you lazy?

Yes.  No.  Depends.

What is your Chinese astrological sign?

WTF?  I’m a guy.

How many languages can you speak?

2

Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

Men’s Health.  I like to read up on fitness.  It’s like training with my mind.

Which are better, legos or Lincoln logs?

Legos because what is Lincoln logs?

Are you stubborn?

Always.

Who is better, Leno or Letterman?

Trevor Noah.

Ever watch soap operas?

Only when the wife is not watching me.

Are you afraid of heights?

Only when I look down.

Do you sing in the car?

Always.

Do you sing in the shower?

No. I’ve got too many places to clean.

Do you dance in the car?

If moving your upper torso erratically would be considered dancing, then yes.

Ever used a gun?

Yes. I killed Bambi’s mom.  I’m a guy.

Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Depending on who would be reading this post…

Is Christmas stressful?

Only when choosing presents and I run out of those little combo sets of shampoos/conditioners/hand cream/body soap.

Ever eat a pierogi?

WTF? I’m a guy. I eat steak.

Favorite type of fruit pie?

Strawberry cheese cake. And steak.

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

To play with dolphins.  Wait, I still want to play with dolphins…

Do you believe in ghosts?

No. So don’t spook me.

First concert?

Belinda Carlisle.

Nike or Adidas?
I just did it.

Cheetos or Fritos?

I’d rather eat chicken nuggets. Where’s my steak?

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

I’m assuming this would be for human consumption?  Peanuts obviously. And steak.

Ever take dance lessons?

I’m a guy.

Regularly burn incense?

I’m a guy. Besides they smell like crap. Not real crap, but crap nonetheless.

Who would you like to see in concert?

Britney Spears and/or P!nk.  Or both of them together.  Not that way man! Lift your head out of the incense please.

What was the last concert you saw?

The Script.  With Dude.  And it was awesome.

Are you patient?

Mmmm.  Let me think .  Stubborn and patient.  One can only be one of the two.  So no.

Which are better, black or green olives?

Those without pips.

Can you knit or crochet?

I’m a guy.

Best room for a fireplace?

Lounge and bedroom.  My bedroom.

Who was your HS crush?

Belinda Carlisle on her bed in her La Luna video.  Hot! Hot! Hot!  See for yourself.

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

I’m a guy. We always get our way…

Do you have kids?

Just two teenagers.  Go ahead, you may feel sorry for me.

Do you want kids?

Depends. Can I give them back when they reach a certain age?

What’s your favorite colour?

I’m a guy.

Do you miss anyone right now?

My bed. With Belinda Carlisle Wife in it.

If you are also going to post your answers to all sixty questions, please link to my comments section.  I would love to snort some more…