I see people when I travel to far and distant lands. Lots and lots of different people from all walks of life. Thick ones, thin ones, tall ones and short ones. Black and white, gay and straight. And none of them are dead. Because I cannot see dead people. In my observations I have noticed a growing trend. Beards are back. Mostly on men. No longer does a furry face imply that you’re homeless. Or Santa Clause. Hair is now gracing the jaws of frat boys, artists, sportsmen and even a cross dresser or two. You can find beards on the cover of fashion magazines and billboards. Bushy faces are everywhere. And I am not talking a little two-day-stubble, it’s a full-blown invasion of carefully trimmed, do-you-feel-lucky-punk kinda beards.
What caused this sudden beard evolution? Maybe there is shortage of razors due to a reduced global steel production. Maybe men are just getting lazier and shaving has become even more of an effort than it normally is. Or maybe in a world where men are constantly being demasculised, we finally found something that we can display that is still uniquely male. Something that can’t offend. Something that we don’t have to apologize for. Something men can wear with pride. It’s just a beard, is it not?
Whatever the reason would be for any guy to decide to jump in and follow the trend, I have to say this: There is something spectacular about a man who can pull off a well groomed, full beard. A man who can move beyond the itch and discomfort. Whether they are lazy, debonair or lost a bet. Unfortunately such a man is not me. I am the type of guy who prefer the James Bond look, dashing and clean-shaven. My parents have given me many great things like the ability to make beautiful children, but the ability to grow decent facial hair is not one of them. If I decide to refrain from shaving for a couple of days, I end up looking like a spy who escaped his captors, after half his beard was ripped out during an interrogation session of them wanting to know what colour panties the Queen wears on Mondays.
I am happy to report that I don’t waste any time on trying to make sense of the age-old dilemma of “to beard or not to beard” because I simply can’t. Don’t feel sorry for me, I’m just a jealous guy…without a beard and a great sense of humour.