Sense of humour…check
All of the above are required to enter the US. Yes my peeps, I am off to the land of the free again. This time I am hovering around the Southern states of Arizona, Texas and Louisiana, which my spell checker is constantly changing to ‘Louis Ian a’ for some unknown reason. Phone blogging is not as glamorous as it sounds but it’s too much of an effort to get out of my seat and get my second wife from the overhead compartment.
I mean is ‘Louis Ian a’ even a thing? It sounds more like the name of Yoda’s baby. Moving on…
Phoenix should be interesting as the only thing I know about Arizona is that it is hot. Like really hot. Egg- frying-on-a-bonnet hot with temperatures reaching Jennifer-Aniston hotness. I am flying in from Africa, so I should be fine.
I’ve been to Texas before and because I am old enough to know who shot JR Ewing, I am not expecting great revelations in Dallas. Besides I am just passing through.
But then there is New Orleans. Oh my.
I don’t know much about the place but doesn’t it sounds exotic, historic and soulful? Here are a few things I think I know…
1. They have voodoo, so don’t piss people off. Unless you want to feel needles pushing through your body or have your bones breaking involuntarily.
2. They have a lot of rich food, so take a break from any kind of low cholesterol eating plan you might be on.
3. They have blues and jazz which translate to miserable people smoking in bars, listening to a guy playing with his sax.
4. They have swamps and swamps means alligators and mosquitoes which are coincidently both things I love.
5. They have the French Quarter which is nothing like or exactly like De Walletjes Street in Amsterdam. I am not sure.
6. They have a lot of great hotels in the city and I am stuck in one at the airport. Go figure.
7. They also had that bitch called Katrina passing through.
Watch this space for a real report on these great cities. With pics.