I hate it when people brag on Facebook. Whether it is about the fact that they’ve successfully managed to crack open an egg for the first time in their life or were able to crochet a puppy out of peacock spit. It gets even worse when parents are allowed to brag and flaunt the fact that their brat has just learned how to put his pants on correctly. At age twelve. Or any other life-changing achievement.
With that being said, some things are worth mentioning like if your kid has found a cure for cancer. My gripe are with those parents who considers EVERY RANDOM THING their kids do, to be spectacular and then post it on Facebook. But I’m not one of those parents. I prefer to use my blog when I feel the need to brag about my kids…
Basically because I’m surprised about their achievements.
Common logic dictates that our kids are only as good as the gene pool they end up swimming in. A lazy eye, buck teeth or a fat arse are all results of the consummated act of two moderately attractive people. (O-kay, maybe that last one is from eating one too many Twinkies.) Our kids was fortunate because they’re the product of one gorgeous human being and me. So my surprise doesn’t lie in the fact that they’re attractive, as they can thank their mother for that, or that they have a great sense of humour, as that was my only contribution. That and their gender.
My surprise resides in the fact that my kids can act! On a stage! In front of people! Whilst three judges scrutinize their every move! Who knew? And it doesn’t end there! (Maybe I should stop using exclamation marks, I’m tired of all the screaming in my head.)
To top this ability of lying, they’re also pretty good with a ball. Seriously. They can kick and hit and throw that round object of my embarrassment, without hurting themselves.
I was, am and will always be a proud geek. My wife, even though she’s amazing, is no athlete. We accepted this reality very early in our lives thus choosing to become an unhappy engineer and a brilliant teacher. We got by with my sense of humour and because my Wife’s is very good at making apologies on my behalf. As a teenager I was the kind of kid who looked at the jocks with envy until I saw them having to run and stuff. I also looked at drama students with blatant awe (and a gaping jaw) for having the confidence to act on a stage.
Hence my surprise of having ended up with, not just one, but two kids who can act and play sport. Wow! The type of kids who are all balanced and shit. I can only pray that they continue living life with the energy and zeal they do now. Seeing my kids enjoy sports and drama and school and friends and life in general, fills me with an immeasurable load of gratification, pride, love and all those other warm and fuzzy feelings I can’t think of right now.
It also makes me wonder about paternity tests…