I agree, the title makes no sense in the real world but we are not operating in the real world. We are operating in the blogosphere and here anything goes. In this surreal reality I even get nominated for awards and shit! It is a great honor to have been invited to join the Brotherhood of the World. I even have a badge to prove it.
Like everything in life, there is no such thing as a free lunch or blogging award. For this specific award each nominee has to complete a FIVE STEP PROGRAM in order to become a full fledged member. The first step would be to stand up and say: “My name is Pieter and I’m a blogger. It’s been one day since my last post.” I’m kidding. You don’t really have to say that because your name might not be Pieter and who knows when was your last post. People might also think you’re crazy if you suddenly start speaking to yourself. Unless you’ve done it before.
The actual first step is to acknowledge the person who wanted you to join. In my case it was a very nice lady. A mother. With a great blog. Check her out. Her blog, I mean. It is called a AMommasView.
The second step would be to provide proof of the nomination by displaying the badge. I’m not use to winning anything so I acted a bit prematurely. It’s a common problem and I’m taking medicine. I post it in the beginning, thereby creating some instability in the force. I’m expecting a bird to fall out of the sky any minute now. Or at least poop on my new shirt.
The third step would be to expose your inner most feelings to everyone who bothers reading it. The method for this exposure is answering a list of questions provided courtesy of the one-who-shall-be-hence-worth-known-as-the-one-who-nominated-you. Being me, I decided to answer them like a pop quiz. Which doesn’t allow for any thinking or contemplation about my replies. You either know the answer or you don’t. I tried to finish this as quickly as possible and I feel satisfied to post this only three days later. The medicine is obviously working it’s magic, delaying my response, so to speak. Here goes:
- Sweat or sour? Is this a trick question? I’ll take sour as I don’t really care for sweat. If you were referring to SWEET, then I’ll still opt for sour as long as we’re talking candy and not personality types. I prefer sweety pies. Because I’m one. 😉
- Early bird or night owl? When I was much younger I use to swop night for day, mainly because I consider myself to be more attractive under strategic lighting. Now that I’ve tricked a beautiful woman into marrying me and made sure we have kids, I wake up at the crack of dawn. I’ve turned into an early bird but without the associated perkiness, joy and song in my heart. That only happens after my second coffee.
- Summer or winter? Summer. Is that even a thing? What kind of sick person would prefer winter?
- What’s your most important tradition? Having a braai at least once a week. With anyone. Does that count as tradition?
- Who would you want to be stuck on an island with? My Wife. She’s the only person interesting enough to keep me occupied for the rest of my life. And she probably won’t get bored with me either.
- Bungee jumping or white water rafting? Is there not a risk of dying in both of these options? I’ll have to settle on White water rafting because I can swim. I haven’t learned to fly yet.
- Which mythical creature would you like to have as a pet? Definitely a phoenix because when they die, they rise from their ashes again. And again. And again. So even if you screw up taking care of them, you will always have another go. Imagine if kids were the same? #Noregrets.
- Favorite number and why? 25 as this is the day we get paid.
Step four implies that I need to pass the torch and nominate a few other blogs and make them part of the Brotherhood. I’ve decided the easiest thing would be to simply expose the last seven blogs I chose to follow. Why seven? I don’t know. I like seven. Part of this crucial step is that you have to inform them of the nomination as it would be kinda futile if you did not. They are:
- Twisted Top in Flip Flops
- A Little bird Tweets
- Let’s talk about the L word
- Surviving the affair…a cheaters perspective
- White girls be like
- Sweet suburbia
- Sophie speaks up
The last step in becoming a full fledged member would be to create a pop quiz of your own. I thought this was the ideal opportunity to gain some insights from other gifted people on the issues in my own life. I don’t have money for a psychiatrist. If the questions seems irrelevant to your personal situation, I’m expecting improvisation. It’s what the Brotherhood demand of us.
- How does your partner feel about you farting in bed?
- How important is a six pack? On a woman.
- How much wine is too much wine?
- How do I prevent boys from dating my daughter?
- On a scale of 8-10, how annoying are the Kardashians?
- How would you celebrate a 20th wedding anniversary?
- How do you show appreciation when you are blessed with the greatest family on earth? Wait don’t answer that, it’s an unfair question. My family is that family.
By pressing the blue “Publish” button I’ve become a full member of the Brotherhood of the World. Hail!
Thanks again to AMommasView for making this possible. It was fun!