Visiting Cape Town in winter is like having a relative in jail. You know about them but you don’t necessarily want to visit. Until you inevitably do. And it turns out much better than you expected. The sun is shining, the wind has taken a rest and most surprisingly, there is no rain. Not even a cloud in the sky. Mother Nature switched on a spotlight to brag about her favourite mountain.
On route to the Mother city I was forced to listen to a program on Cannabis because in the middle of the Free state there is not that many options. It was an interview between a bored radio presenter and a very pretentious lady doctor-from Stellenbosch. Because where else would she be from? The woman who thought her brain was to good for her own body, much less the general populous, was sharing her no-one-gives-a-shit views on Cannabis. She was enlightening the common folk from her high tower about the pro’s and con’s of Cannabis. I missed the pro’s and only got the butt end of the negatives.
You might wonder why I would classify this classy lady as being pretentious.
Two reasons. One, for the amount of times she used the word cannabis. It was excruciatingly excessive. I’m sure some drug lord in
Mexico another drug producing country, was paying her commission. But it wasn’t just the amount of times she said the word, it was in the manner she used it. CAN-NA-BIS. Like she was referring to some repulsive sex toy. Or a turd. Vocalizing her disgust to the extent that you might think she was hiding something, like a bong or two…
She made a few points that might blow your mind.
- A person who smokes can-na-bis for a prolonged period of time might become socially withdrawn; at which point I thought: “Is that not the whole point of smoking weed?”
- A person who smokes can-na-bis for a prolonged period of time might seem unaware of their immediate surroundings, even suffer from hallucinations; at which point I thought: “That’s called being stoned, bitch.”
- A person who smokes can-na-bis for a prolonged period of time might unknowingly reduce their brain capacity and that might result in an inability to perform at their full potential; at which point I thought: “Whazzup…”
I think the host has a few friends who likes to “puff the magic dragon” and she obviously didn’t like the stereotypes this “expert” was creating for her 7 faithful listeners and me. She got very agitated and then finally spat out the next question:
“Would you say that current legal substances like alcohol and cigarettes are less dangerous than can-na-bis?”
There was a deathly silence which is quite weird and unexpected for a radio show. Even I held my breath, if not just for the blatant mockery of the pronunciation of can-na-bis. The lady-doctor cleared her throat and relinquished an almost inaudible: “No, I don’t think so”.
“So then, would you not agree that there are more advantages in using can-na-bis for medicinal use, compared to the dangers that it pose if it is used irresponsibly?”
If I didn’t know better, this was the proverbial slap in the face. With a slightly higher tone than the one she was using before, (most probably as a result of the wind knocked out of her as she fell off her high horse) the expert-that-fell-from-grace replied: “No, I think there is definitely more research required on the subject.”
BAZINGA! In your face bitch! You don’t know everything after all…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not canvassing for the legalization of marijuana, I don’t even have a real opinion on the matter. I don’t know anyone who is using it, probably because it is still illegal over here and our jails are no picnic. But I do cherish those rare moments in life when a person who consider themselves to be all high and mighty, gets their shit handed to them on a shovel.
Especially if said exchange takes place in public.