How many ties, socks, handkerchiefs, tools, coffee mugs and pieces of biltong does it take to make a Dad happy? I say this because during this time of year, socks fly of the shelves like flowers in May or chocolates in February. I’m left wondering how much money has been spend on arbitrary gifts since the inception of Father’s day? I reckon if we could convert all those items back to cash and give it to me, I would be able to afford a yacht. And a continent. Not that Fathers don’t appreciate all the mugs and socks and stuff we’ve received over the years. We do. We really do. I especially like those years when I was allowed to pick the gift myself.
I like gifts, but sometimes Dads receive something priceless, something that redefines ‘the best gift ever’ without the giving kid being none the wiser as to what they’ve just done. Moments in life when I have to bat my eye-lids like a chameleon on crack, just to prevent a tear from taking a stroll across my cheek. These gifts are the ones that last forever. Imprinting itself on my memory just like those cute little baby Velociraptors do at birth. (As per Jurrasic World)
This specific gift I’m referring to was given to me by Princess who, for those uninformed people, are my precious, beautiful, vibrant, teenage daughter. She sent me a Tweet whilst I was out of the country last week.
Miss u dad!!*Love u so much and can’t wait to see u..# counting down the days~4~♡♡♡xx
Some of you may wonder why I consider this to be such a wonderful gift. Allow me to explain.
Princess is a teenager. And teenagers are volatile, erratic, lovable, emotional, hormonal, stubborn creatures. And then there are the female ones. Princess is a female teenager.
We finally agreed to expose Princess to the abyss of social networking. It seems that having the ability to connect to Instagram is a prerequisite for being a full functioning teenage female. They cannot survive without the ability to post selfies or telling their friends that they’re doing nothing. We allowed her to join Instagram and Twitter but part of our arrangement was that she has to except me as a follower. The Wife couldn’t be less interested in Twitter, even if she tried. The I-must-follow-her rule is not because of my trust issues or due to the fact that I want to know what teenage girls talk about, but it’s because we all know very well that there are some sick puppies out there. And by ‘sick puppies’ I’m not in any way insulting baby dogs, I’m referring to the twisted f*cks roaming the Internet.
I even suggested a few people that she should follow but she didn’t seem impressed when I opted for Barnie the Dinosaur as a wise choice. Needless to say, she’s not allowed to have a Facebook account yet, for that is something straight from the deepest pits of hell. At the moment most feeds are just a dump site for human emotion and self pity and some ads and a million annoying game requests. The next person who sends me an invite to play Candy Crush will find my fist crushing their face. (Relax, why don’t you?)
With Princess on Twitter she is now following One Direction, Zayn Malik, Selena Gomez, some Maddie chick and her DAD! Yes people, I’m in with the cool kids. And I have the stats to proof it, I don’t care what my dreams say about how my brain is not working properly.
When you read the Tweet it is a blatant, unabashed, bold, shameless, public expression of her love for me. Her Dad. She’s even counting the days for my return! How awesome is that? I’ll tell you, IT’S FRIGGING AWESOME! I’m as stoked as the time when Wife said yes to my marriage proposal. (Technically she didn’t have a choice, it was a condition of her release from my captivity.) But that Tweet implies a few things… It means Princess still likes me and she’s not ashamed to say so. Princess misses me and I’m concluding that I’m still the most important man in her life. Whooop-whooop!!!!!
Take that all you hormone infested boys who’s checking her out when she walks by. Yes, I know who you are! And I know where you live. But know this: She’s still with DAD! (At least for now…)
I did receive this Tweet a week ago and Princess and I had a few scuffles since my return home. Incidents that results in her storming off, leaving me dumbfounded with the inevitable Father-asks-Mother-questions: “What the hell just happened? What did I say?”
With that being said, one things remains uncontested: Every time I read that Tweet, I know exactly how Superman felt when he realized he could fly.
Love you Princess! And happy Father’s day to all the Dads who love being one as much as I do.