After putting my own weird dream to screen, I realized that my own subconscious is trying to screw me over. I’m not really that weird or confused. Or am I? I decided to do some research.
And by research I mean activate Google. We all know the Internet is full of people who run sites and blogs where they post random, crazy, somewhat interesting and otherwise wonderful things for the rest of us to read. Unlike this page off course! This page complies to the highest standard of entertainment. So it should be no surprise that I found a site. And no it’s not that kind of site. Nor is it a Game of Thrones episode. Besides I’m so pissed off for them killing Jon Snow that I might never watch another episode again.
(Okay, we all know that’s the biggest lie…and who knows, maybe he’s not even dead.)
I plonked some of the key words from my dream into the search engine at www.dreammoods.com and found the following meanings:
- Gel – To use hair gel in your dream represents your desire for order. You need everything to be in place.
- Haircut – To dream that someone is giving you a haircut suggests that you are experiencing a decreased sense of power. You feel you are being criticized unfairly.
- Hair – If you dream that you make a drastic change to your hairstyle, then it means that you are taking a drastic, new approach to some issue in your waking life.
- Lice – To see lice in your dream signify frustrations, distress and feelings of guilt. You may be feeling emotionally or physically unclean. Alternatively, the lice represents a person, situation, or relationship that you want to distance yourself from. You may be feeling used or taken advantage of.
- Bedridden – To dream that you are bedridden signifies ignorance or denial. You are not facing up to reality.
- Cold – To dream that you are cold indicates that you are experiencing a breakthrough in some area in your life. Alternatively, you may be feeling isolated or emotionally restrained.
- Earrings – To dream that you or someone is wearing earrings suggests that you need to listen more carefully and pay attention to a message that someone is conveying to you.
- Lion – To see a lion in your dream symbolizes great strength, courage, aggression and power. You will overcome some of your emotional difficulties.
(First off, this is not my creative juices that resulted in these somewhat contradictory explanations. It’s actually copied ‘as is’ from the site. Which implies I cracked open my skull for all of you to see. I feel like a victim of Sylar.)
Basically this site wants to tell me that I have a desire for order but I’m experiencing a decreased sense of power, which is why I’m taking a new approach in life. This change makes me feel guilty and I need to eliminate a few people in my life. I need to grow a pair and face reality. I’m very close to a breakthrough but I need to listen to the people around me. This will allow me to overcome my emotional difficulties with great strength and power…
(No shit Sherlock, I’ve got two teenagers in the house!!! What did you expect? Sanity? I’m kidding, my kids are wonderful when they’re asleep.)
After reading the interpretations I love my Wife even more for keeping up with me. I also sympathize with my parents who had to raise me. I cherish my friends for accepting me for whatever creature I seem to be. And I apologize to my kids for having to take advise and instruction from someone who obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing.
I’m just glad I’m such a lovable person. I’m living proof why you need a sense of humour and never take yourself too seriously. It must be said that I don’t think all this confused weirdness it’s all my fault…
Which is why I want to warn all fathers who are considering to attend a One Direction concert with their daughters AND then agree to chaperon a heap of them to a screening of Pitch Perfect 2. In the same year. It will destroy you! The gods of testosterone and beer are not going to forgive you that easily. It’s going to strip you naked and make you walk through the streets of your mind, shouting “Shame! Shame! Shame!”
You will have to suffer through dreams that don’t make any sense, whilst your mind is ridding itself of the torment you placed it under. Thereby readjusting to normal manly stuff. Like rugby. And biltong. And not talking about our emotions.
And it’s just not worth it, I tell ya.
Okay, maybe it was…