Due to the fact that I scored or lost a day travelling to New Zealand my bio-rhytm was a bit off. If a ‘bit off’ implies that I know now what stupid feels like.
Flew to Brisbane in a daze, and not necessarily a good kind of daze, drove to my customer and was as surprised as the lady on the GPS for getting there in one piece. I reckon the customer regretted me not having a breathilizer test. I finally finished the meeting with the biggest pupils ever seen on a man, change the voice on the GPS (I didn’t like her condescending tone) then drove to the hotel.
Arrived there mid afternoon and did what any person in my condition would do. Drew the blinds and slept. Woke up looking worse than I did before, took a shower and went for dinner. Or did I?
Ended up in a bar where the guy at the door looked at my shoes before letting me in. My face was obviously not good enough. I am so happy I wore new shoes! Got to give a shot out to Meghan Trainor or her body double. Amy* and her friends took the time to talk to a traveling South African businessman. In so doing she proved that we’re not as bad as people might think we are. (Don’t worry, there were guys in the group too, I’m not a stalker.) I have to say, the natives of Brisbane are a lot friendlier than those in…let’s say… Sydney. (Amy* might not be her real name but I was never good with names.)
An obvious drunk man stumbled into my space and kept saying ‘Dum dum wants gum gum’. And that is an exact quote my friends. So aliens does exist after all. In plain English, I think it meant he wanted some booty. I wasn’t about to give him mine, so I left.
Arrived in Sydney and stayed in Koogee beach. I did the Koogee to Bondi beach walk on Sunday and passed a lot of people that almost made me feel quilty for skipping gym that morning. I did say almost. Besides I had better things to do… Like sleeping. The walk was a lot longer than I expected and I still had to walk back as well. I also learnt what shin splints are, albeit a day later.
This country still celebrates the Queen’s birthday. And I mean the real queen, not Caitlin Jenner or Freddy Mercury or the guy who wears a dress and stack fruit on his head whilst singing ‘I will surivive.’ Which seems fitting for Sydney doesn’t it? This long weekend implied two days of no meetings for me. And let’s just say, after two days on my own, in a somewhat unfriendly city, I got bored with my own company. It seems I do not have enough personality for two people after all. I was in desperate need to be entertained. I searched the Web for a comedy club. Found a quirky little place in Surrey, The Comedy Lounge. Don’t go there.
Wow. It was really awful. The comics were dying on stage like they were facing a forty-strong firing squad. One after the other. Bodies were piling up and the stench was unbearable. Some of their jokes were so bad, it was criminal. The humour police would have arrested them. Until some idiot thought he could spice up the night with a rape joke…I left because I don’t like the sight of blood and once one lady shouted: “That’s not funny you $%#$%” it was my queue to go. Quickly.
But who am I to judge? Maybe it was just the crowd or my own lack of humour… No wait a minute, I laugh at everything. It definitely wasn’t the crowd…
My only regret? I missed VIVID!!!! How stupid am I? I’ll blame it on being jet-lagged.