Writing 101 – Day 7: Give and Take (It happened in a phone booth)

An exercise in using dialogue for Writing 101. Sort of…

Clark was busy getting rid of his shirt and tie, showing flashes of the famous red and yellow logo.  He sighed and said “Why do we always choose the smallest places for these costume changes.”

“Huh, what do you mean?” he replied, loosening his belt.

“I’m just saying, it’s cramped and we are a big guy.”

“Ok genius, that’s the second spectacularly stupid idea you came up with today.  The first one was this awful tie.  What do you suppose we do with our clothes, Einstein?  Just shove it in a dumpster.  You don’t earn enough money at the Planet to replace clothes that often.”

“I know, I’m just saying.  I’m sick of it.  And it’s not just the bad pay.”

“Oh for Krypton’ sake, what’s wrong now?  You sound more and more like an old lady every day.  Nagging is not a very attractive trait on a grown man you know.” He flexes his left arm to avoid cramping.

“Easy for you to say. I’m the one who has to sit in the stuffy office every day of my life, while ‘Superman’ flies around, saving the world, making all kinds of headlines.  Oh Superman save me!  Oh Superman is so great! Oh Superman is so hot! Oh Supe…”

“Just stop.  You’re just being childish and that is pretty amazing considering you sounded like an old hag a few seconds ago.  It’s childish and stupid.  What would you have me do?  Let the people die?  Shit man, I really don’t have time for this.”

“You never have time for anything.  That’s your problem.” Clark says whilst getting rid of his shoes.  “I’m just saying, it’s not the b….”

“No, you’re not saying anything.  You’re complaining.  Again.  Then you have the audacity to say that you’re sick of it?  Well guess what, so am I.  Totally. Fed. Up.” Superman’s eyes have turned into a light shade of crimson.  “I’m tired of your constant nagging and your complaining and… You know why don’t you just grow a pair?  No wonder Lois is avoiding you like kryptonite.”

Clark stops and looks distraught.  “Nice dude, go ahead, kick me when I’m down.  Are we really getting into this now?”

“Why not?  For Jor-El sake, you started this little conversation.” The vein in his neck is thick and pulsing with anger.  “You’re the one going on about not having a life and that you’re working to hard and you’re not getting enough credit and you don’t get to fly around and…you know.  Just sulking and being petty.  Besides Captain Idiot, we’re the same frigging person!”

“Don’t call me an idiot.  You don’t know what it’s like living in the shadow of the Man of Steel.  It really sucks man.”

“Clark Kent, what are you smoking?  How can you be living in my shadow if WE ARE THE SAME PERSON?”

“No-one knows it man, no-one knows.  I’m just the geeky journalist with a crush on Lois, which I can’t act on, by the way.”

“Wait, are you seriously telling me…” Superman wipes a dark curl from his forehead and takes a breath to calm himself.  “Do you honestly consider a pair of glasses to be a decent disguise?  Do you really think people don’t know?  You’re obviously a much bigger dumb-ass than I gave you credit for the first time around.”

Clark didn’t expect that. He slowly turns his face and looks at his reflection.”What are you saying?  Do you really think people know? I mean about us, about me?”

Superman stands up, shakes his head slowly and places his arms in his sides, the famous I-am-now-pissed-pose.  “Of course they f*cking know, Clark.  By Krypton’s sun,  humans are obviously a lot smarter than Kryptonians.”

“Why doesn’t anyone say anything?” He says, touching his glasses.

“Why should they? People know.  And I save them.  Life is good.  It’s just a lot of happy people who understands the concept of not messing with a system that works.” He bends down to take of his socks.

“Then what about Lois?”

“What about her?  It’s plain and simple, my friend.  Just take your balls out of your fanny-pack, put them back where they belong and ask her out.  She’ll say yes.”

“Wow Superman, I must say I’m surprised.  I wonder what people would think about your temper.”

“I couldn’t care less about what people think”, he says without looking up, “I killed Zod, so that should send a clear message not to f*ck with Superman.  Now let’s fly, I need to save those 124 people from the towering inferno.  One’s already dead, whilst you had your little pissing session.”

“Fine,” was the last thing Superman heard before the wind blasted past his ears in sonic flight.

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16 thoughts on “Writing 101 – Day 7: Give and Take (It happened in a phone booth)

  1. This was funny and fun to read. Thanks for the bleeps, though. I wouldn’t have finished reading it without them. I wonder if we ever learn anything from our conversations with ourselves? Ever watch “The Neverending Story?” A fun movie from about twenty years ago.

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