During this past weekend me and like my whole family went on like this totally cool weekend to Durban. And it was like really chilled and rad and everything, you know. I mean, the weather was like totally amazing. And the hotel we stayed in was like really awesome. The mall, O-M-G , that was beyond fabulous. And the outfits of the city girls well…
I’m interrupting this ridiculous post to bring balance and a true version of events.
For I am THAT Dad. I didn’t realise I was going to turn out to be THAT Dad. It’s just something I learned about myself over the weekend. I’m THAT Dad who has serious issues with what girls are wearing these days. Fortunately my daughter seems to be on the same page as me, for now at least.
Let’s recap. The family went to Durban. It was a birthday gift for Princess, who didn’t want a party. She preferred the beach with a very specific list of activities for the whole family. This is her list retyped, obviously.
- I want to go the beach. (Because we need sand in all the wrong places)
- I want to stay in a hotel. (Because room service is dirt cheap)
- I want to have one of those breakfasts where you can eat as much as you like. (Buffet is the word you’re looking for here)
- I want to do the bike ride on the promenade. (Even if it kills us)
- I want to go bowling. (The sport of kings and all middle-aged men)
- I want us to attend a show. (One that would have to be non-age-restricted)
Two things amazed me of this list: (1) Google is removing any chance parents might have in lying to our kids about things we don’t want to do and (2) It would have been much cheaper to have the party and buy that bike we talked about. However, I pushed through and made all the necessary bookings, which resulted in great excitement as the weekend drew closer. I also loved the idea of seeing Wife
falling of riding a bike.
Anyhow, the Saturday was a lot of fun and we fell asleep at eight that evening after way too much excitement for one day. We did everything on the list.
For those uninformed readers, Durban is one of the biggest cities in SA, and markets itself as the venue for FUNSUNSEA. The weather is great throughout the year and everyone is chilled and relax and totally consumed by the beach-culture of the city. This relaxed vibe seems to create some confusion amongst parents living there, for what would be deemed appropriate attire when it comes to covering the body of a thirteen year-old girl.
Which is how I came to realise I am THAT Dad.
The young girls walking around the mall of Gateway, looked like they stole outfits from the costume rack of Julia Roberts, as she was trying different options for her opening sequence in Pretty Woman.
The top part of most of the outfits worn by those little girls looked like this:
I’m not sure if the first one was a tank top that got washed in warm water by accident or chewed off by some deranged pet. The second one seemed to shrink to something so small it would barely fit on a Hobbit’s feet. Or maybe it’s just a scarf, wrapped around the area where breasts are going to be one day.
At the bottom of the outfit there was this:
The first one looks like a pair of shorts that is just a stretched version of a Barbie doll outfit. The second one is basically the same scarf as above, this time with frills and wrapped around another area that is not supposed to be seen by the general pubic, I mean public.
The end result is a little girl who’s showing way too much midriff and would probably make Britney Spears gasp. Where are their Dads, their Moms, their brothers, even their Neighbours!! Someone has to tell them that they look like contestants on Toddlers and Tiara’s. Or a badly drawn superhero.
If you want to show of your body that’s fine, you’ve got your whole life to do that, and there are several job opportunities which allow you the opportunity. You’ll also need a pole by the way. Anyhow, this is not appropriate attire for a young girl! At least not in my house! What are the designers thinking? I’m sure I could come up with a better outfit than this! This is something you wear over a bathing costume for goodness sake. Not when you want to attend a show, or cruise around a mall, or go on a date or be seen by other people! Cover yourself properly dammit.
I was appalled by the sexual overtones of these outfits. I’m wondering if they realise that the choice of clothes you wear, makes an unspoken statement about who you are. I’m probably scarred for life. Fortunately Princess was equally disgusted. And when she saw the umpteenth girl dressed like a prostitute; she gasped and whispered to me:
“I will never ever ever be wearing that together. Like never.”
And I almost cried. Of relief.