This is 40…Round 2

In an on-going series of dispersing 40 titbits of wisdom in anticipation of my own turning later this month (21 days and counting), please find the next 5 thingies I’m listing for the ignorant and desolate out there.  I’m here to help.

(Ok, it’s actually for my kids…)

6. Start a blog.  Surprised? You shouldn’t be.  Having a blog is an essential part of achieving total fulfilment and a real tangible sense of self worth.   Sadly, I only discovered this invaluable tonic a year ago, but alas, life is not about when you acquire wisdom, it merely requires that you do.  Acquire. Wisdom.

7. Don’t burn any bridges.  And this implies to all aspects of life, work, friendship and relationships.  Life has a very odd sense of humour and just when you think you become invincible; you’ll be confronted with someone that has grown a black heart; for you screwed them over in some way.  Do you really want to meet the Wicked Witch of the West on a sunny Tuesday morning, only to discover that you were the reason why her heart withered away?  She might even turn around and release a whole army of winged apes on your sorry ass.

8. Don’t take selfies.  And please don’t post them.  Ah dad… bought a camera and would be more than happy to use my limited knowledge of photography and capture your best pose, and then edit it with Photoshop.  If the airplane ticket is included in the request, I am prepared to fly anywhere.  (Except Nigeria, Papua New Guinea and the Ivory Coast for  I’ve been there and it sucks.)  I refuse to take a pic whilst you’re doing some arbitrary thing like eating ice cream, hanging on a door or shoving your butt in my face.  You’re a girl?  You’ll do it without a shirt?  Well, that just chances everything. Call me.

9. People can be real assholes sometimes.  If you believe this to be true, just remember you’re a people too.  And nobody’s perfect so chances are you have also had a moment, or probably more than one, where you have allowed your little dark hole at the back to do the talking for you.  Don’t judge to harshly.

10.  Love and respect your parents, for they pay your pocket money and provide food, and when you’re old enough to earn income of your own, pay it back.  (I’m only kidding…  Unless you insist…)  Anyhow, just understand that the rule will continue to apply; for parents will become cheap (read as free) babysitters for the mongrels that is yet to be birthed from your loins.  Take care.  It will be worth it.

There it is, my second set of snippets, done.  Another five things I’ve learned whilst spending time breathing oxygen.

Life changing stuff hey?

(Missed out on Round 1?  No worries. It’s here.)

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