The Door to the Loo #1

Jimmy loves public restrooms.  He doesn’t like sharing them, but he likes the privacy it gives him.  He would prefer if no-one walks in when he’s busy, because they normally just freak out and then he has to “clean” up the mess.  And sometimes he’s just had enough.Newcastle-20131001-00083

Most people use restrooms quickly, they come in, do what they need to and leave.  Not Jimmy.  He takes his time, not that it’s something he can control really.  A good digestive process implies small bites of food and thorough chewing. With Jimmy this process implies an hour per thing, sometimes a little more, depending on the size.

Removing his skin takes forever as he needs to ensure it doesn’t tear.  Replacing them skins are frigging expensive and hard to come by.  No-one here looks the same.  Then he has to remove his eyes and dislocate the upper part of his face.  He then proceeds in releasing his sensory organs tucked in tightly on the side of his faux-neck.  That leaves him with a gaping hole and several rows of spiralling little blue teeth that disappears at the bottom of his real green throat.  It’s nice and big for comfortable feeding.

Food is in abundance here, which is why it remains a favourite holiday destination for his kind.  The travel guide is clear on sticking to the more inconspicuous sources like prostitutes and the homeless, which is why they prefer public restrooms.  And then discovering that a little bit of danger tape and a “Do not use” sign keeps most of these things from entering, just makes perfect better.

But there was that one time when four of the little things snucked in while he was enjoying the one-legged homeless thing.  He didn’t have a choice; and they were scrumptious.  He didn’t need to feed for a week after that, but couldn’t forget that magnificent taste, which lingered for hours after he spit out the shoes of little thing number 4.  And that’s when the craving started.  He just couldn’t help himself.  In the last few weeks he has grown extremely cautious; for the inhabitants of this blue planet becomes quite obsessive when those little things disappear.

“They should just lay more eggs”, he thought, picking up the terrified looking girl scout thing.


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I won't bite, I promise...

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