What pops in your mind when you hear this song?  Big hair, neon colours, shoulder pads, pointed shoes?  What about food?  Yes, does hearing this song trigger your taste buds or let your stomach growl? If not, by the end of this post, it will.  Fair warning: If this song conjure any special memories that you would like to retain, STOP READING NOW!

I  guarantee that I will reprogram your memory and by the end of this post, every time you listen to this song you will think of Italian cuisine.  OR your money back.

Our family enjoy watching the reality show “Got to dance” that is currently airing on South African television.  There are some truly amazing acts, from animated guys who makes me check whether I have accidentally pressed the slow motion button of the remote, to groups with kids that remind me of those amazing Russian female gymnasts who grew up to become teenage Russian boys.

Anyhow, as in any reality show the producers allow some people, who shouldn’t even be allowed to leave the house never mind get on a stage, to audition as well.  Those weird people who don’t have families or friends who love them, for if they had, those people would have told them to NOT embarrass themselves.  The few who then end up on tv, not only destroy their own reputations, but they bring shame on the family for three generations after they’ve left earth.

In defense of this specific show, the judges are always uplifting and find ways to give a positive spin on every performance.  That in itself is remarkable entertainment.  So along comes a 54-year-old woman who considers herself to be a whopping good dancer, without ever having training.  First off, she doesn’t look like a dancer.  She looks like my mother.  And she picks ‘Hot Stuff’ as her musical motivation.

Know this:  If you enjoy boogie-ing to Donna Summer, you are, just like the song, a Golden oldie.  Accept it.  Age is nothing to be ashamed of.  However, what you do in a drunken state, at a wedding, on the dance floor, IS!  Don’t try to repeat it on national television.  IT will NOT end well.  Her interpretation of dance was girating her muffin top, like no fat-losing-vibrating machine would ever be able to do, with hip flexing action that would be the envy of Elvis, and an awkwardly placed hand, way to close to her…well “That-part-who-shall-not-be-named”.  It was weird, something I didn’t want to see, but something I couldn’t stop watching.  You know those it’s so bad, it’s good moments.

(I did mention to my kids that if ever become so intoxicated in public and end up dancing like that, they should shoot me with a tranquilizing gun immediately.)

After all this reading, you might be wondering, “Why would this song make me think of food?” Well, here’s why…

Princess watched enough episodes to understand that dance is the interpretation of music.  So after viewing this torture sequence she asked us, with no hint of doubt:

“Why does the lady dance like that to a song that’s about food?”

The wife and I looked at one another flabbergasted, with a hint of serious concern.  (We had those, “It’s your child, not mine” expressions.)

“Why do you think the song is about food?” I asked carefully.

“Well she sings ‘I need some PASTA.. maybe this evening.'” was her confident reply.

WE LOST ALL CONTROL.  There were 10 minutes of total chaos in our household as the wife and I were basically rolling on the floor.  I have warned people about our parental skills, and yes we laugh at our children.  Eventually we calmed down and between giggles informed her that the correct words was “Hot stuff” .  We also recovered on the raising-children-index by explaining that it meant she was looking for someone sexy.

Then my daughter lost control, laughing at herself.  And we joined in.  (In her defence, English is our second language)

We had to listen to the song again and realised that ‘PASTA’ would fit perfectly in the song.  If you don’t believe me, click the clip again and replace the bold words of the lyrics below, with my daughter’s version. (PASTA)

Sittin’ here, eatin’ my heart out waitin’

Waitin’ for some lover to call

Dialed about a thousand numbers lately

Almost rang the phone off the wall

Lookin’ for some hot stuff, baby this evenin’

I need some hot stuff, baby tonight

I want some hot stuff, baby this evenin’

Gotta have some hot stuff

Gotta have some love tonight

It’s a pleasure.


Dinner or dance?

4 thoughts on “Dinner or dance?

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