Kids and boobies part 1

Kids say the darnest things, but sometimes they exhume wisdom beyond our expectation.

We know someone who recently embarked on a career as a tattoo artist and piercing specialist.  (Two jobs my dad didn’t tell me about in high school!  Along with the suntan guy on a Sport Illustrated photo shoot.)  When I hear tattoo artist I see Kat von something and she scares the hell out of me.

“No kids, you will not be allowed to get a tattoo while under my roof.”  (Glad I got that out of the way…)

In any case, this tattoo lady post pictures of recent piercings she’s done on various social media.  WTF?  I am old, I know.  I am conservative, I know.  I am a father, I know.  But why would you want to have your pierced body parts circulated on the web?  Maybe it’s just me…

I am trying to focus on the story…

Her latest photo was a piercing she did for a well endowed lady, some kind of belly ring but not in the conventional place, this one was smack in the middle of her cleavage.  I had to blink twice to ensure my eyes were not playing tricks on me, but there it was; a metal rod with two stubs right between her twins.  (That must look really awesome in a low-cut evening dress, so sophisticated…)

My wife showed me the picture on her phone during a family dinner last week.  First we shook our heads in disbelief and then we laughed.  My son was very keen to see what his parents was cracking up about. My wife decided to show him.  He is 12.  (I think she might regret that decision now)

He commented, unexpectedly: “Why is her top so low?  It barely covers her…”

I grinned wildly and wanted to react like the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood:  “Because her breasts are so big my child.”  I refrained and administered immense self-control.

My wife blushing, interrupted him by changing the subject: “Son, you were meant to look at the piercing.”

He look at the picture again, looked up at his mom and nonchalantly said:

“Mom, don’t worry, no man will even notice the piercing.”

Sometimes I am really proud of my son.  And I am still laughing.

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